The Rollercoaster ride

I have been putting off trying to set up a new blog for a while. I love writing just to rant, analyze or even process things as they happen. But why have I been putting it off since January 1 st , 2017 when I originally made the New Year’s Resolution? Glad you asked.. For one my mind has been throwing too many questions as to how to really go about it (I guess growing up read getting old does that) – which topics, what is my brand, will this fit with my work (don’t want to inadvertently rant about things that could get me into trouble) and so on. Not sure if I am the only person with such confusions but I have a feeling I am not the only one.  Then last night I remembered my old blogger account that I used to write in almost a decade ago. So I have decided to kick the analysis paralysis to the curb and do the one thing on my To-do lists that I’ve been putting off forever. For now, the purpose of this blog is to share things I learned, stuff I read, few rant...

She woke up to the noises coming from the kitchen and for a moment felt that the place was her childhood home and if she would get up and run to the common area, she would find her mother and siblings preparing supper or making some such preparations. Her dad would have just come from office and would be watering the plants. During the monsoons, after trudging from the soaky roads and battling for some room for her umbrella when she’d reach home and freshen up; the bed would be welcoming and cozy. The raindrops on the windowpane and the bustle that could still be heard outside of the window while she cuddled in her blanket and tried listening to radio would be bliss. There would be tea to drink and people talking about their day. Some college things, some incident with the neighbor, some teacher being a pain, some boss being well boss, all put on the table; or simply complaints flying from every corner about the nonsensical choices of television made by the matriarchy. “ Did I know whe...

Today sitting in a cafe I happened to drop an ear into an interesting conversation between two elderly gentlemen. The topic of discussion being are genius made or born. I have read over and over the quote by Thomas Edison " Genius are one percent inspiration and 99 percent perspiration " which currently was the point of contention between these two eccentrics. As the discussion proceeded, it went into being said that there was a study among american, belgian and korean mothers about what makes their kids good at math. Amazingly, it seems that while belgian and korean moms said that with daily practice they think that their kids can be good of math, american mothers were of the view that there is a gene of talent among each kid which makes them better at a particular thing or not, due to which not being good at math can be blamed on genetic built of a person. If american mothers are to be believed then each man is not equal to another, some are born better than others. Which g...

Years ago sitting in the library of my school, I was explaining this self concocted theory of faith and belief that I think I should revisit because it was very good. My theory said that in order for something that seems miraculous to happen to us there has to be unquestionable, unwavering, unmovable kind of faith in a cause we believe in. There is no myth in some of the great things happening to great people. The reason being, these people believe passionately without an ounce of doubt in something and just go for it. I will go one step further in explaining this theory. I say, believing in something requires part of ours in the form of energy to be put into work. Sort of like potential energy being converted into kinetic energy. According to my understanding, no human effort of any form ever goes wasted without producing an effect in our form of living. Everyone has this belief system embedded in them. According to me it only gets energized first at a very crucial time of a person’s...

Over the past few weeks I've been thinking about the days we live by all the moments of life we go through. All one can ever ask of life can be to live with a sense of pride, live as if life was a gift given to us and love every moment of it even in the most unseeming of the situations. Who doesn't have some things that they've lived through that they'd really like to take it back. It seems all noble and righteous to say one has no regrets in life but I disagree. I think the key is not to not have any regrets or things that you'd rather do in a different way, but to, own it ! Much has been told time and again about doing what you like, putting your passion to work so that work seems like play and all that. What really is being said is to " Own it". Do good or bad. Just do something and whatever it is that you do, do it the best you can. Something that constantly comes to my mind when there is a situation I would rather like it go some other way than the cu...

Do you remember when we used to run away as if our lives depended on it after pointlessly ringing the neighbor's doorbell The faint remembrance of hurt still lingers when you forgot to search for me while playing hide and seek And the only thing we used to fight about was who gets the remote during dinners Why, I just got hold of that scrap of paper with your art which looked a lot like me And you thought it would be capital fun to pass around among people and guess its resemblance How we ran to the door in the evening when dad came home And on rainy days, our outlasting paper boats outside our window was what made us heroes Oh the merriment in not having electricity staring at stars on terrace and someone having a ghost story Not a day passed by without having you play a prank on me Hiding the pieces of broken vase or china used to be our little conspiracy Saving for birthday presents Acting forgetful to tease How we dreamt of growing up to do as we please I wish sometimes we coul...

Today was laundry day Clothes were strewn around like hay I sieved through and came across my happy clothes And those that resemble rainy day cloaks Closet full of different myselfs Once a while,we get acquainted over some hot chocolate I wonder about the divine inspiration To buy this exuberant color Oh look! the melting blueberry ice-cream left me a stainy souvenir Clothes that see me regularly And those special forlorn ones Every time I see them They brief me how I've been

I don't think that I believe so much in fate. I believe we are masters of our own free will, which is what sets us apart from all the other living species on earth. We are given a choice and a higher power wants us to believe and only then do these choices come to life and become fate. When we do not choose and leave everything to fate, it means that we have left that belief and faith somewhere behind so instead we try to complacently live with a laggardish assurance without taking charge of our own fate. Given a choice to give up the cream on a superb cup of coffee which can make it taste infinitely better, how many of us would opt out of it assuming you love coffee as much as I do ? The faculty of free will and choice is that cream of life that can add that peculiar flavor and unparalleled zing that makes the initial pain and suffering all worthwhile.

Patching up a crack in the wall I came across the place Where we used to hang our picture frame Neatly tidied space it was allotted to memories To stare us over the years as time passed All smiles gazed at me in amazement Like strangers usually do when they ephemerally look In the eyes of a forlorn unknown person The genuine pleasantness in the picture people Took me aback to yore When things seemed complex to a simpleton life And how this novel life has had the roles reversed I took my time nice and easy to do the deed All the while remembering the welcome creases Mirth created in those fresh faces

I traveled the dungeons without light Smelled the sourness of the air Felt hurt not in skin Spoke not of hope Devoured the coldness Cried silent turbulent rivers Tasted wine not of grapes Seethed joy in pain Dreamt helplessly in despair Accepted there is nowhere but here Wondered, if life was so; what can the afterlife be ? But revelations seek the un-seeking Hope the hopeless Finally from tumult of shaking faith, and ashes of a thousand dreams Rises the phoenix stronger than ever

Today, on the fine start of a saturday morning, I went for the second time for the local Toastmaster's club meeting. Its a good group of people who happened to share the common interest of self improvement in the aspect of public speaking. It usually shares the common routine of designated speakers, sharing the podium first which is then followed by something called "Table topics" where everyone present, including visitors like yours truly are given an impromptu topic and they are required to speak for a minute. For a second timer, today's table topics were quite interesting and thought provoking. It was concerning the various aspects of " Passion ". Passion, the incredible feeling I mostly associate with red color. No reason, its just one of things that plays in the screen of the mind whenever this word comes along. If someone asked you, what is your passion, how long do you think you would take to answer that? Surprisingly most people would actually immers...

" Nothing we ever do is going to matter, but it is very important that we do it" - M.K. Gandhi Mental note: I'm going to remember this. I will need it over the next couple of months!!

Have you ever felt as if you are all alone in the whole of universe and you have so much to say and even if there are many people around you who would like to hear you out, you don’t want to say anything, anything at all. You don’t want to be in that place and there is no other place to go? I don’t know if there is anything worth in this world to be alive for. People say that love can make you feel complete and it gives a meaning to the life we live. I wonder if I am devoid of loving. I think that this state is like a vacuum, it is not that there isn’t anything happening but at the same time the things that are happening don’t even matter. How can there be pain and yet no sight of suffering? How can there be so much wonder and yet so little acceptance? How can there be so much passion and yet so much serenity on the surface? How can there be so much want and yet none of the need? How can there be so much courage and yet fear prevailing? How can there be so many dreams and none of the ...

A few days back, I sat down to fill out a job application after reading about refreshing your resumes from a book. You know the feeling when sometimes you try to elevate from your body and imagine how you would look from up ? It doesn't matter if you don't get what I'm talking about. Well that's what happens to me occasionally. I picture myself how I would be looking from right above me were I able to float, with one of me below and the other of me magically able to float above. I digress, so as I look from above and I see myself, crossed legged, peeping intensely into my computer from my nerdy not-yet-broken specs, frantically referring this book I so artificially was trying to believe it would really help and in trying to say the right things or rather market myself and suddenly I imagine a bubble like that of cartoons clouds above me and I'm thinking. "What if I die ?" " I haven't yet done anything. There is that hike to Himalayas pending oh! a...

A small voice says, just follow your heart and everything will fall into places. A stable job, another degree to fulfill the dream of becoming a corporate honcho, drive that sleek BMW. That darn voice mocks, you're just another brick in the wall !! P.S: I think the love for melodrama & over-thinking is proportional to time in one's life

If you keep looking on the brighter side, you won't see the shadows - Hellen Keller This, now is life. It won't wait for you to stand on your feet. There's a song of exactly that name by Houston Calls which goes by " Life won't wait" That's a good thought to start my day with.

What makes a man, man..is it his origins, the way he started ? Its the choices he makes and the way he ends things.. - From Hellboy Okay, the movie wasn't really top notch but only the above phrases were. Come to think of it, there is again that omnipresent focus on "choices" again, no wonder the first birth control pill advertisement I can remember was something called "Choice".

May be for a little while, people look at that and say "hey, at least I'm not that bad" and try to think better of themselves despite whatever shortcomings.

You know the feeling .. where it seems really difficult from far but then when it becomes " been there done that" after wards It kind of makes sense why people want to keep doing new things Because once a new thing is done, to feel that way again you have to do something newer P.S: Oh BTW, I passed my defense and I'm happy I can also sleep like normal people( at least today)

3: 50 am In less than 6 hrs will get done with the marketing aka defense of my thesis... The bizarre thing is I have more questions about the results than probably what my committee is going to ask. But it will not be the end, rather the beginning of new phase and more questions to be answered. Most of them I haven't a clue about. My thesis looks pretty good thinking of those questions !!