The art and drill of "SMALL TALK"
Apart from the bad weather today the thing that’s driving me crazy is the realization that corporate America with the doom it brought about in the world is now pushing people towards extroversion. By far it is now turning its back to the silver lining it provided to people like me about being a “Supporter of Individualism” and making the probability of you surviving a job search or career advancement battle directly proportional to your EQ – Extroversion Quotient.
At a recent discussion, with an alumnus it was brought to my notice that the way to make your-self irreplaceable anywhere has always been “Relationships”, now moreover so, it stares at us with all dreary eyes. For someone with limited expertise in this area, my obvious question is how do you do that? There is no definite answer of course and being kind enough she politely said “Connect to them, may be make a little small talk. Ask about their kids, sports and stuff. Give it a personal touch. People want to know all about you .” (Of course I thought, why else would social media be on a roll then? I sometimes wonder if the social media is creating the hoopla all around itself by itself?)
On that note, I started thinking about this SMALL TALK. Most people know if you are talking about weather then you are as disconnected as Obama with solving problems of the recession hit United Statesians. But really how do you build a congenial relationship that is the most wanted commodity at present and to my realization has always been so? Are you doomed if you are not good at it and just talk business without the sugar coating? Have you ever wondered about jobs of people which required smiling all the time like air hostess or the friendly receptionists or the people at counters in US? If you have ever lived in Mumbai don’t you know of the phrase “Kya mangta hai, fatafat bolo” translated “Talk business or Talk to the hand” well enough to give people straight like a bullet or walk quickly?
One stark cultural difference I experienced here was all the smiling all around me. You don’t know someone, but the smile and “hey, how’s it going”. It’s a paradox of the US lingo because it is asking a question but the asker says it as rhetoric. The person will probably be gone from site or he’ll just keep walking without waiting for an answer, better still the other person will answer it walking as well and both will have a conversation walking in opposite directions. Jokes apart, but really people label others who are direct as cold hearted opportunists. This I say from personal experience that people like the drill of non-relevant talks before getting down to business. The drill reminds me of my gym classes where I had mastered the art of faking to do an exercise without ever straining a muscle. Most of the times by sheer size of my class, I would easily hide all the wrong moves but there’s just no running now.
Party’s over and things are getting real and there’s just no way to beat this thing by the logic that we’re good at solving equations or some such but to push a muscle or two in the old trial and error till we get it right. I still view the drill as an art and people adept at it as artists. With good reasoning my career wasn’t in art at which unfortunately I’m as good as a toddler trying to paint with fingers.
At a recent discussion, with an alumnus it was brought to my notice that the way to make your-self irreplaceable anywhere has always been “Relationships”, now moreover so, it stares at us with all dreary eyes. For someone with limited expertise in this area, my obvious question is how do you do that? There is no definite answer of course and being kind enough she politely said “Connect to them, may be make a little small talk. Ask about their kids, sports and stuff. Give it a personal touch. People want to know all about you .” (Of course I thought, why else would social media be on a roll then? I sometimes wonder if the social media is creating the hoopla all around itself by itself?)
On that note, I started thinking about this SMALL TALK. Most people know if you are talking about weather then you are as disconnected as Obama with solving problems of the recession hit United Statesians. But really how do you build a congenial relationship that is the most wanted commodity at present and to my realization has always been so? Are you doomed if you are not good at it and just talk business without the sugar coating? Have you ever wondered about jobs of people which required smiling all the time like air hostess or the friendly receptionists or the people at counters in US? If you have ever lived in Mumbai don’t you know of the phrase “Kya mangta hai, fatafat bolo” translated “Talk business or Talk to the hand” well enough to give people straight like a bullet or walk quickly?
One stark cultural difference I experienced here was all the smiling all around me. You don’t know someone, but the smile and “hey, how’s it going”. It’s a paradox of the US lingo because it is asking a question but the asker says it as rhetoric. The person will probably be gone from site or he’ll just keep walking without waiting for an answer, better still the other person will answer it walking as well and both will have a conversation walking in opposite directions. Jokes apart, but really people label others who are direct as cold hearted opportunists. This I say from personal experience that people like the drill of non-relevant talks before getting down to business. The drill reminds me of my gym classes where I had mastered the art of faking to do an exercise without ever straining a muscle. Most of the times by sheer size of my class, I would easily hide all the wrong moves but there’s just no running now.
Party’s over and things are getting real and there’s just no way to beat this thing by the logic that we’re good at solving equations or some such but to push a muscle or two in the old trial and error till we get it right. I still view the drill as an art and people adept at it as artists. With good reasoning my career wasn’t in art at which unfortunately I’m as good as a toddler trying to paint with fingers.
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