The Rollercoaster ride

" Nothing we ever do is going to matter, but it is very important that we do it" - M.K. Gandhi Mental note: I'm going to remember this. I will need it over the next couple of months!!

Have you ever felt as if you are all alone in the whole of universe and you have so much to say and even if there are many people around you who would like to hear you out, you don’t want to say anything, anything at all. You don’t want to be in that place and there is no other place to go? I don’t know if there is anything worth in this world to be alive for. People say that love can make you feel complete and it gives a meaning to the life we live. I wonder if I am devoid of loving. I think that this state is like a vacuum, it is not that there isn’t anything happening but at the same time the things that are happening don’t even matter. How can there be pain and yet no sight of suffering? How can there be so much wonder and yet so little acceptance? How can there be so much passion and yet so much serenity on the surface? How can there be so much want and yet none of the need? How can there be so much courage and yet fear prevailing? How can there be so many dreams and none of the

A few days back, I sat down to fill out a job application after reading about refreshing your resumes from a book. You know the feeling when sometimes you try to elevate from your body and imagine how you would look from up ? It doesn't matter if you don't get what I'm talking about. Well that's what happens to me occasionally. I picture myself how I would be looking from right above me were I able to float, with one of me below and the other of me magically able to float above. I digress, so as I look from above and I see myself, crossed legged, peeping intensely into my computer from my nerdy not-yet-broken specs, frantically referring this book I so artificially was trying to believe it would really help and in trying to say the right things or rather market myself and suddenly I imagine a bubble like that of cartoons clouds above me and I'm thinking. "What if I die ?" " I haven't yet done anything. There is that hike to Himalayas pending oh! a